Therapy/Counseling

People normally enter short-term therapy because of a crisis or transition in their life. They are seeking advice on how to handle a situation or on how to make a decision.

People normally enter long-term therapy so they can heal more deeply seated emotional pain. It is a time when they try to understand and get direction on what caused the crisis in their lives.

There are several ways to determine if you need therapy:

• If you hear close friends, a teacher, guidance counselor or parish priest encouraging you to consider therapy, it is probably wise to listen to their advice.
• If you begin to see patterns of behavior that interfere with relationships, work performance or goal achievement, consider a consultation to determine if further therapy is needed.
• If you are experiencing intense feelings that cause you or others disturbance, it is usually beneficial to check out what is happening with a competent therapist.
• If you are experiencing a difficult time in your life and feeling that you have reached a plateau and are unable to make a decision, it is a good time to consider therapy.
• If you know that something in your past or family has caused you great distress and has not been resolved, therapy can be a helpful solution.
• If you keep on doing the same thing but get the same undesirable results with nothing working out the way you planned, it is time to see a therapist.

It is important to identify the coping behaviors that are used to survive the abuse. Therapy is imperative in order to avoid Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Without therapy there are other coping behaviors that one might develop that are destructive to self and others, such as substance abuse, aggressive behaviors and compulsive or avoidant sexual behaviors. These behaviors serve to keep the person alive, functioning and away from the painful emotions and memories of their trauma. However, these behaviors also keep the victim from dealing with the abuse directly. It is important to blend healthy coping skills with the acknowledgment that the victim will now begin to process and work through the abuse with a professional therapist.

Sometimes untreated victims of sexual abuse develop clinically significant disorders, such as Sexual Addictions or Dysfunctions, Major Depressive Disorders, Dissociative Disorders, Substance-Related Disorders, Eating Disorders and Anxiety Disorders. Without immediate professional assistance, the victim often develops Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which requires long–term therapy. If left untreated, individuals can experience impairments in social and occupational functioning. Examples include isolation/withdrawal, phobias, aggression, poor work performance, disturbed interpersonal relationships, thoughts of suicide and actual attempted suicide.

Family members may find themselves feeling overwhelmed and at a loss when they learn a child has been sexually abused. Often they feel guilt and shame for not knowing that the child was being abused and feel guilty for failing to protect the child from the perpetrator. Since the majority of perpetrators often know their victims, sometimes a parent may have actually trusted the perpetrator with the care of the child. Deep feelings of rage and betrayal may be debilitating. By providing information on the dynamics, effects and impact of sexual assault and the selection of victims by perpetrators, therapy can help family members understand and accept that any victim of sexual abuse is not to blame, nor is the family. It is the perpetrator who is at fault.

Sexual abuse is never the victim’s fault. If you have a loved one, especially a child, struggling to cope with recent or past abuse, he/she needs your support. You also need courage, strength and acceptance to get beyond what your family has experienced. A caring, believing, supportive parent who is in the process of healing through therapy is crucial to a child’s recovery.

Academic degrees are important, but it is best to know a potential therapist’s focus, develop a level of trust with them and have a basic sense that this therapist can help you or your loved one. If you and the therapist do not have a rapport, the therapy may not be effective. This is also a key factor for children and teens.

If someone has had success with a therapist, it may be a sign that they can be helpful to you. Concentrate your search for a therapist on those who have treated people with problems similar to those you face. Sometimes a therapist works closely with particular populations such as adolescents, couples, or people of particular religious backgrounds.

• What level of education does the therapist have?
• What kind of license does the therapist have?
• What kind of experience does the therapist have with my specific issue?
• Is the therapist a male or a female? Does this matter to me?
• Is language an issue?
• Is the therapist’s approach compatible with my spiritual values and the teachings of the Catholic Church?
• If the treatment is for a child or a teen, will the therapist include the parents in the process?
• What provisions are made for emergency situations during the night, weekend and off-hours?
• How many sessions are typical/expected in this type of case?
• What is the fee structure? Does the therapist accept insurance reimbursement?
• Is there a sliding scale to determine fees?

Some teens desire therapy, but many are resistant. It is necessary at times to insist that a child or a teen go to therapy. Natural rapport and a good relationship with a therapist holds true for children as well as adults. If after four to six sessions, the child is not able to experience this rapport with the therapist you may want to look for another person who might more effectively assist him/her. The therapist should include the parents/guardians in some way in the process of therapy.